I think about dancing every day … On some level. If I’m not having a lesson or taking a class, I’m thinking about what’s next or how I can afford to pay for (fill in the blank). I have dance friends who message me on Facebook or email or text and are telling me things or talking about dance related stuff almost every day. I watch YouTube videos or scan Facebook pages or blogs just to catch a tidbit here or there. (Yes, I watched the recent videos of professionals falling at comps cause it makes me glad I’m in good company when I happen to wipe out on the dance floor.) I get curious about the bigger comps and who wins and speculate as to why and who their coaches are and how much money they make … 😁
Sadly, though, it looks like my time on the floor will be limited. I just can’t keep up this financial burn. Recently, Teach asked me about going to Heritage Classic this year and I had to say “no.” It was terrible for many reasons. Not the least of which is that I had started to gain traction and did really well last year and thought that this could be my year to bring a big trophy home. I’ve gone the last 3 years and patiently sacrificed for it. But, the funds are drained and aren’t able to be replenished. It’s hard because I feel like Teach and I are at a new level in dancing connection and are communicating the best we’ve done in a long time. It just totally sucks. It’s hard because I often forget that I’m not really upper middle class like I like to imagine I am, but my paycheck does not reflect. It’s just reality. Sometimes, the reality of something just sucks.
However, I have started a new adventure — in June, I began a new job of starting a business in a nearby town where I live. I am managing an events space that’s located in an old 1940’s grocery store. The building is huge and has lots of fun history. I’ve cleaned and painted and sweat buckets and bled and cried and struggled with contractors and fielded complaints and met with county people and learned all about the multiple ways the government taxes one little item and met interesting people and met people who take advantage and walked the streets passing out information and gone to bed so tired I can’t sleep and have felt new levels of loneliness I didn’t know existed and learned all about getting yourself out there on a budget and on and on and on … And that’s just been the first six months! 😀
During all this, dancing has been a special retreat for me … A place of healing and solace and it’s hard to see it go away on any level. I hate it. But, I’m also the person who plays the long game … Always have been. Many people my age aren’t ballroom dancing … They’re raising their kids, building careers, doing other crazy stuff … I get that. Most women didn’t really start dancing till they were 20 or more years older than me. I feel very blessed to have been able to begin when I did. So, although my involvement in dancing may take a different path for a while, it will still hold a special place in my heart. And, who knows, maybe things will change quite suddenly, as they often do, and I will find myself on the floor going even stronger — I’m a hopeful person like that. 😏
it doesn’t mean I’m out of here or not dancing at all, it just means something’s gotta give and it looks like dancing will be the thing. I’m still gonna keep up with the Ballroom Village and dance as I can afford it! I’ve included a couple pics: one is my costume from our Halloween public dance at the studio and the other is from our studio Mini-Match this past weekend where I am happy to say I moved up another level in silver.
Keep dancing my friends! I’ll see you on the floor … sometime …